Over My Head

I never knew
that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run
when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and it's effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

You be Tails, He'll be Sonic, I'll be Knuckles

I am my brother's keeper.

Being the middle child has some awesome perks, it makes me a "little" brother and a big brother simultaneously. Even though I'm twice both of my brother's size, I do look up to Jesse and I try to set the example for Alex as best I can. My simple statement about my two brothers is only I'm permitted to fuck with them when they are wrong or being stupid, no one else. Anyone else tries to fill those shoes that are outside of my family is going to get the piss slapped out of them. As a trio, we definitely compliment each other quite well. Jesse would have to be most intelligent and witty of the three of us, Alex is the critical thinker and is a sponge when it comes to learning things, and I seem to be filling the role of the more physical and out-going brother. But fortunately all three of us possess the intelligence and common sense to make things work for us.

I'm especially proud of Jesse, especially after finding out we would have yet another awesome addition to our family, my future sister Nicole. I met Nicole at a bar one night in Patchogue when Jesse brought her down, and immediately knew that she was special not only to Jesse, but possessed her own hidden strength that I can sense every time I am around her. She's an amazingly beautiful, kind and warm-hearted woman that deserves the best from Jesse and from the rest of my family. Although I haven't spent nearly as much time with her and Jesse as I should have in the last couple years, every time we have spent together me and Nicole have always gotten along like we have been siblings for years. She indefinitely is the cheese to Jesse's macaroni.

Growing up with Jesse as my older brother involved a tremendous amount of friction at some points, but at the end of the day, if you can't figure out how similar me and Jesse are personality wise, you are Helen Keller. We had our differences in the past sometimes, but even before Alex was born me and Jesse were inseparable, we both had the same interests when it came to games, sports and friends. Especially once BatMUD came around, me and Jesse both started playing about the same time and even to this day we still play it occasionally. I am thankful for that game, as lame and addicting as it is, it's my number one source of communicating and virtually hanging out with my brother. Yes, Me and Jesse are nerds motherfuckers. We both still play Pokemon on our computers, and we're addicted to good RPG video games. Go ahead and Judge me, and I'll kill you. The most recent of our endeavors together is when Jesse and Nicole came down to Atlantic City and I met up with them there to hang out with them there the weekend before I left for Afghanistan. Even though we were just playing poker and hanging out, it's another memory that I am glad to have spent with my brother. (-300$ USD = Bad beats).

Now for the little guy, who evidently is growing some peach fuzz on his upper lip. I became an older brother at ten years old, something that I had always wanted to be. Once Alex came into the family, I spent most of the years when he was an infant to a toddler with my little brother. I can't tell you how many times I put that kid to sleep in order to use my mom's computer for like 30 minutes. Alex is a combination of both me and Jesse, he is both mentally and physically intelligent. I harp on him for being lazy, especially when my parents ask him to do something, and I definitely harp on him doing well in school, avoiding making the same lazy mistakes that me and Jesse had made in high school. I remember one specific thing that my mother told me that made me realize that Alex is going to be just fine, One day she calls me and tells me that Alex got in trouble on the bus. I soon came to find out that he punched some kid for pushing a girl on the bus, good job kiddo. Setting the example for Alex over the years is sometimes a bit difficult because of my age and what I'm involved in, but I hope that some of the drive and determination that I have Alex can emulate in some of the aspects of his life. He's a good kid, and I'm glad he has a solid relationship with both my mother and my father, and has gotten to spend a lot of time with them since I've been gone.

"I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three. "

Long live the Lionhearted.

S/F
Rob

And Saints We Shall Be

"And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap while any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

For those of you have known me for quite some time you would known me for quite some time, you would know that I was pretty overweight for most of my life. In the last several years I've spent most of my time trying to make myself better physically, even though I let myself slip for awhile there. I've decided to start documenting my progress somewhat so I know if it is working for me or not. I love being in the gym and working out because it grants me the ability to be strong enough to accomplish everything that I want to. So here is an updated picture of about 2 months of trying to work out with what I have here (which isn't easy). I think this time around I'm going to go for the "300" appeal, which is a hell of a workout, but I love being as intense as possible. I blame the testosterone boosters I'm taking for talking shit to myself in the gym. "Come on cupcake, it's only XXX lbs, don't be a bitch," most people around me look at me like I'm insane, but I enjoy motivating myself.

Semper Fidelis,
Rob

!

Just some pictures I guess.


Yes, they are rather random























And yes, that is an Afghani child's shirt.

Christmas

Another day in the suck, and so I've decided to stop shaving for the remainder of my time here. It's been about a week and everytime I wake up and look in the mirror I realize how much I continue to grow looking more and more like my father. Oh well, another day gone by. Just gotta keep saving all I can and continue to stay the course I've set before me.

Gonna miss Christmas a bit this year, not only because my Grandmother and Jason are no longer with us, but also because I'm unable to fill that void by making myself present for my family. I guess there is a price for everything in life, and I suppose if you want to make your life work, you gotta compromise and make sacrifices. But these things are made by my own decisions and I will always stand by my choices whether they are right or wrong. It's better to make a wrong decision than to not make one at all. I guess the primary reason I had to leave again, is that I have a hard time living in civilian shoes, even two years after I have left the military. You spend enough time in that kind of environment and it becomes truly apparent as to why the military operates in the way it does. Even now being a civilian overseas I find it hard to stop myself from putting my chevrons back on and getting the job done. It's just how the Marine Corps made me.

Another reason I had to leave was because I did not forsee any major opportunities back in New York, at least nothing worthwhile. I know for a fact my friends and family will always be there, and I know that I'll do my best to make it back to them and start having good times again. The world doesn't stop for me or anyone else, so if you want to get shit done you just gotta kick the ball and keeping rolling.

And here is me again a couple weeks ago, in my bachelor pad amongst the Afghanistan real estate.

Although I get homesick occasionally, I've become fully accustomed after spending so many years away from home to continue to be fine with it. If you find yourself just lingering and thinking about home and what everyone else is doing, you lose sight of everything that your supposed to be doing so I do my best to avoid that.

Well, I'll sign out here, wish you all a solid holiday season, especially to my family back home.

Merry Christmas Alex, ya spoiled brat.

"Rest in Peace D-Money, I'll see ya when I get there."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa

Giants won, Rangers lost, Mets will always suck. Oh well.

Another day gone by, holiday season coming up, so obviously Rob is slightly depressed because it's yet another winter season that I've managed to be away from home for, and we all know that I fucking love the snow and the cold air. Definitely will miss the nights looking out of the main window in the living room of my parents house and seeing the slowly falling flurries coming down slowly from the sky being lit up by the streetlights. Its nights like that where the world's volume seems to turn itself down and you can't hear nothing but the harmony of peace and quiet. Except for the fact that I have tinnitus, seeing and hearing that tends to bring me to peace even after everything I have experienced in the last several years of my life. I think I love the winter the most because everyone tends to stay inside and enjoy each others company as opposed to going out and meeting new people, and partying like a retard during the summer time. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the warm weather and the opportunity to ride my motorcycle and exercise outside, but the winter just does something to me. I just wish I could be home for Christmas and sit on my happy ass in sweatpants and a t-shirt and drink baileys all day with my family and the ole' ball and chain. Its definitely the winter time that makes me want to stay closer north in the Tri-state area, because I love to ski, and I prefer the east coast over anything. I hope to be able to get some solid skiing in whenever I stop leaving the states, because skiing always makes me think of Jason. The last time me and him spend a solid day together of just hanging out was when I came home in February of 2006 and myself, My pops, Jason and Alex all went up to Jersey and spent the entire day skiing. Jason stayed with Alex and worked with him pretty much the entire time, and me and my Father tore up the harder trails. Another reason I am thankful to have known Jason my entire life, he was always willing to help other people regardless.


aaaaaaand back to business.

-=Rob=-

Grain of Salt

You gotta learn to take everything with a grain of salt, I laugh when I hear people complaining about how terrible their day is, but in reality, nothing is unfix-able.

If you spend all your time worrying about how bad things are, you'll be blinding yourself from the light at the end of the tunnel, and in retrospect, completely forget everything that you are working for in the first place.


Well that's all for now, back to work.

Semper Fidelis,
Rob